I have suffered with fecal urgency and incontinence since the birth of my daughter in May 2012. I’m 33 years old. I feel like I am carrying a huge weight around with me, everyday is so mentally exhausting. Everything has to be controlled and revolve around me possibly needing to use the bathroom. Some days I have 2-3 minutes to get there other days it’s seconds. I suffer from anxiety and take medication for this. My life was so carefree before. I didn’t worry or panic about going to places, I just got ready and off I went. Some days I feel ok, like I can go food shopping, or to the park with my daughter. Others it’s just hard work. But it shouldn’t be a battle just to go to the shops, or swimming, or go out for lunch. It never used to be. I don’t think I’ve accepted it yet. It’s like I’m me, Lindsay, but then I’m
Lindsay who can’t go out or can’t do this or that. I have been off work since June. I can’t see me being able to go back to my job. My career feels like it’s over.
But then strangely at the same time I’m happy? If I’m in control and left to my own routine etc life is good. Maybe it’s the medication. I dont go the gym anymore, go running, out socialising with friends, go off out into the countryside like I used to but I am still happy. I am grateful for my daughter (it was a difficult birth and she was very poorly) she makes me smile everyday. I worry about me holding her back, her not being as sociable as she could be. I’m trying my best but I do worry it’s not good enough. One day is like to wake up and not worry about having an accident. Just not to think about going to the toilet like most people do. Hopefully one day